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Saturday, February 25, 2006



I often suppose that I tend to be negative about what's going on in my life from day to day, looking at the down side of things. Sometines, it's difficult finding something to say that's positive or encouraging. I think the term "positivism" is already taken.

One of my roommates did something very nice for me. I had broken a part of the frame of my glasses that holds the lens in and had no way to replace it. This week he took them to some optical store, with intentions of replacing the frame, but apparently it turned out to be cheaper to repair them. So, after about 3 months, I can see again. At distance, that is; I can read close up better without my glasses than with them.

Thursday, February 23, 2006



Quite frequently when I gat involved in something during the day, I find that I can't let it go when I go to bed. I either can't get to sleep at all, or I get up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. If helps if I can get up and write it down...but that kills a couple of hours of sleep time, and I either wake up late, or if I have to get up, wind up making up for it with a nap.
Can't sleep at night, can't stay awake during the day is one of my chronic complaints. Not sure what to do about it? It would be nice if I had more control over the sleep switch in my brain, but...we all have our difficulties. This time, what kept my up was my world-building, but it could have been jaut about anything.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Just another day

I could leave it at that: I got some rewriting and expansion of my notes on history and my virtual world building, and not a whole lot more except watching the Olympics last night.
Winter is probably my least favorite season, but it's not really that much worse in West Virginia than it was in Utah or Nebraska. A bit wetter and not quite as cold. This winter, though, has been quite dry and mild, compared to what it was last year, (or usually is); except for last week. But that didn't last long. February is on the way out, and I'm rather looking forward to spring.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


Slow motion

I made it to the local library Sunday and picked up another few books. I haven't done all of them but one "The Necessary Beggar", by Susan Palwick, caught my attention. I've also finished "Highgate Rise" by Anne Perry.

For the past few days, everything I do has been an effort. When I was young, before teens, at the local swimming pool, I used to wade in the shallow end, which was waist-deep. Walking was no great problem, but sometimes I'd try to run and found that the resistance was too much; I ran in slow motion and didn't go much faster than if I walked. Worry is like that. I spend a whole lot more energy and don't go all that much faster. So, I take things one day at a time.

But sometime it still feels like I'm wading through sludge. Even the littlest things seem like a lot of effort, and I walk around in an icky, sour, depressed mood. I suspect I'm not sleeping well; my roommates report a lot of snoring, and I know I've gained weight over the past year or so. I tried putting myself on a bit of a diet, but it didn't last (I'm certainly no better at self-improvement projects than the large portion of the population that tries and doesn't succeed). From various hints, it appears that the weight gain may be largely water and related to my heart condition, anyway.

But in spite of feeling like...Well, you get the idea... I have been making progress in areas I mention on my other two blogs, so not everything is going badly.

Monday, February 20, 2006


President's Day

I mentioned last year that this seems to be an excuse for car dealers to have sales...although i've noticed that it's not limited to them this year. I'm just happy I'm not locked away from all the library computers.
Otherwise, I'm not celebrating very much.

I've made more progress on my independent learning project over the weekend, I've been looking at the history of computer games, and following discussions on game.dev. There's a possibility that I may be able to get a hand-me-down computer system in the next couple of weeks, which would let me get back into programming, but for now, I;m going to have to add that to my wait-and-see list.

Friday, February 17, 2006


Catch that day! It's getting away!

I had a couple of appointments that threw off my schedule yesterday, and a couple of topics on a forum where I regularly visit. A question by someone about how learning and study can (but doesn't always) lead people astray, another question about asking for help, and another about studies of DNA & American Indians, ate half the day and gave me reason to ponder about some of my own behavior.
I'm not one who asks for help much. There are many reasons, one of them being that I'm a bit defiant about asking anything at all from those who have accused me of wilfully depending on others (such as themselves).
In the meantime, I'm itching to make more progress on my Independent Learning and VWB blogs.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


More of same

Minimal progress, really. I was reading the message boards on gamedev.net, added a few topics to my discussion of government for Independent Learning, and started doing some design work on a program that would impliment the ideas I'm discussing on the Virtual World Building. Besides watching the Winter Olympics in the evening, and thinking about my life ouside the various projects I am involved in, I don't have much to report.
Although, there are other odds and ends I look at from time to time: a lawsuit one of my roommates is involved in, Cheney's nunting accident, the causes of procrastination, a chess game, a couple of upcoming appointments, and more I don't remember at the moment but may well float to the surface in the middle of the night.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Valentine's day

Nothing much to report. Earlier this weekend, I picked up two more Ann Perry Novels; "Bethlehem Road", and the first of her series featuring William Monk, "The Face of a Stranger". I missed one, "Silence in Hanover Close"; the local library doesn't have it.
I also got a few boxes of the candy Sweet Hearts with messages on them. That's about as close as I can get to celebrating, and it's more than I did last year.

Monday, February 13, 2006



I never intended to go this long without posting here. I found a new computer game at www.pardus.at, and have spent more time than I should figuring my way around in it. But the "new" has worn off, so I'm back to doing other things.

I had word from a family member that my mother has cancer. I'm not going to include my various thoughts and feelings about this sitution here, other than that it mingles with other background stress that I can do little about.

This weekend, I decided to start yet another new blog: (I have 3 active, 2 inactive). This one is called Virtual World Building and is a place for exploring some of my more creative ideas. I mean to include topics from science, mathematics, computer programming, as well as elements from the knowledge base to help organize my thinking. It would go much, much, better if I had my computer with me, but since I don't have room for it and it's sitting half the country away...Well, I can either give up the idea (I've taken that approach), or figure "If I can't do what I want to, I'll do what I can".

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