Saturday, January 07, 2006
Anger
Part of the blues I've been going through is a persistent sense of anger. When I get up in the morning and take my emotional temperature, I frequently find that I'm angry...it find myself saying "I don't care", except that it's an angry reaction, not genuine apathy.
Underneath my depression, I find, I have more anger than I had really noticed. I've used a metaphor of digging down to bedrock: except that part of it isn't rock: it's permafrost composed of frozen anger, which sometimes melts and turns to muck.
I did some searching on various mental health related subjects, and came across some interesting ideas; some of which I'd heard before.
I've been wanting to comment on some of the books I've been reading lately. (I read fast). At All Costs, by David Weber (the latest in the Honorverse). Shaman's Crossing, by Robin Hobb. Knife of Dreams, by Robert Jordan. I've been wanting to comment on "Komarr" by Lois McMaster Bujold. I find myself identifying with both the heroine, Ekaterina Vorsoisson, and her husband, Etienne Vorsoiosson, for different reasons.
I don't know if I mentioned that I've been looking to build a music collection, and I thought I'd start with music from the early days of radio and recording. I've found a source that goes back to the 1920s, so I'm starting there. There are several oldies I'd like to add to my collection one day. I want to listen to them first, though, and although there are a great many that can be found on www.allmusic.com, finding a computer with music access is a bit harder.
Underneath my depression, I find, I have more anger than I had really noticed. I've used a metaphor of digging down to bedrock: except that part of it isn't rock: it's permafrost composed of frozen anger, which sometimes melts and turns to muck.
I did some searching on various mental health related subjects, and came across some interesting ideas; some of which I'd heard before.
I've been wanting to comment on some of the books I've been reading lately. (I read fast). At All Costs, by David Weber (the latest in the Honorverse). Shaman's Crossing, by Robin Hobb. Knife of Dreams, by Robert Jordan. I've been wanting to comment on "Komarr" by Lois McMaster Bujold. I find myself identifying with both the heroine, Ekaterina Vorsoisson, and her husband, Etienne Vorsoiosson, for different reasons.
I don't know if I mentioned that I've been looking to build a music collection, and I thought I'd start with music from the early days of radio and recording. I've found a source that goes back to the 1920s, so I'm starting there. There are several oldies I'd like to add to my collection one day. I want to listen to them first, though, and although there are a great many that can be found on www.allmusic.com, finding a computer with music access is a bit harder.
