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Thursday, September 29, 2005



I don't know how many times I have tried making "to do" lists and losing track of them. My latest version is a pocket-sized spiral notebook, in which I just list things I need, or want to do, especially ones I'm likely to forget.
I have a tendency to treat my "need to do" and "want to do" lists as mutually exclusive, and focus on what I haven't accomplished and get all stressed about it. I'm hoping this latest version works better.

i have had much of this experience my whole life, perhaps since grade school. lists and lists of lists and cross indexed lists which end up in jeans pockets and the laundry, in notebooks i've laid aside, not worn from use, but in frusteration that the structure, the most perfect balance of this that i WANT to do and this which i MUST bears as much Truth as possible, it's not the list that is the product. it's the mind that makes it. and it's the frustration that is significant, it is a signifier, a SIGN of what needs to shown to the confused mind, does this makes sense to you? i'm consider myself an authority on confusion. i'm 27.
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