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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

 

Forward motion

Lately I've been waking up with dreams of big shouting arguments with family members; (are ex-in-laws considered outlaws?), and a couple of my brothers. Apparently my mind still wants to say the kind of things I usually manage to keep behind my teeth.
I don't want to erupt and dump old, buried anger on people, but sometimes it won't go away until I find better ways of dealing with it. But anger at injustice can be a source of motive to do good. I started trying to capture some of the ideas and feelings going through my mind, and it's been a challenge, not because of writer's block, but because too many things are trying to get out at once.

I've been reading about job-seeking and employment in the library, trying to find things that will help me get past the emotional obstacles. I found a quote that reminded me of an old song. "He's just...making the best of a bad situation...", resulting in some strange decisions. Yes, I know the feeling well. One of the exercises I've seen recommended is to articulate the "yes...buts", so I can deal with them rationally.

I'm not sure I would even hire myself on the basis of a standard employment application, so I'm not too terribly surprised that employers generally haven't even been willing to take a second look. On the other side, I don't want to work for a bully or a slave-driver, and I cannot possibly predict from the employment application how they are going to be.

I'm also going to try to include more links to others sites here. One of them, related to what I'm trying to do is the Job Hunter's Bible


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